Being a Mother

Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body." ~Elizabeth Stone

The past two days have been worrisome on our hearts. Evangeline had a cold and cough that gradually grew worse. A fever, sustained rapid breathing, sleepy, not her bright eyed self. I began to miss her smile. She had never been this sick in her whole 13 months of existence.

I did what I hoped was best. Nursing to keep her hydrated, sitting with her in a steamy bathroom to loosen the mucus building in her lungs, holding her against me, rocking her while she slept and keeping a watchful eye. Although she was still not herself, she improved slightly by evening. I stayed downstairs to sleep so she could sleep upright to keep her coughs productive and to soothe her labored breathing. 

Mothering is a monumental job. The weight of your decisions involving your children rest heavy on your soul. With tentative situations like a sickness, you wish for the right choices to magically appear but they never do. Intuition is what keeps you steady and hopeful.  It is what urges you to be brave that your choices will be the correct ones.

This morning, Evangeline's fever broke and her breathing returned to normal. Joy! She is not 100% but her smile returned. It was a smile definitely worth waiting for.

Happy Mother's Day weekend to all the wonderful mothers!

 To my own Mom: I love you. You reassure me in my most unsettling moments of motherhood. <3